It's been a very long time since I've posted, so I just want to let you all know beforehand that I am going to say some very... well thought...thoughts. Or at least I feel like they're well thought.
Sometimes when I am alone or driving late at night I start to think. I think about how I could change either for good or for bad. I think about how I can change others, or/and how others can change me. I think about peer pressure and what it can cause people to do. I think about my friends, my family, my coworkers, and the people that i see going about their every day lives.
You see so many people every day who act like they're okay. However, everyone has problems, and I can guarantee that they have more than one. You and I, we definitely have our problems. Problems with ourselves, problems with our friends, problems with our family, problems with the world. We can even have problems with the people we meet.
We judge people so harshly sometimes, whether we know them or now. I know that I do. I also know that people tend to judge me for a lot of the things I do. I make mistakes, I know I do. And I know that others o as well. Nobody is going to be 100% perfect. We all have at least one fault.
We blindly put our trust and give our hearts to others. We know that there is a chance that we may or will get hurt. We know that our choices may be wrong. We know that some of the things we do may not be right. Yet we do them anyways. I know that I tend to not think much before I do things, and other times completely over think things to the point where I will panic and give myself anxiety.
I have my moments of being shy or being rude or being kind or smart. I do my best to be who I want to be, or who I feel like I should be. I don't necessarily do things right but I try. I try my hardest to be the best for every one. I try my best to help others and make them smile, or cheer up, or just feel better. I try to be the person who is there for every one, who can help when she's needed. Sometimes I can't help the person no matter how much I want to or how much I try. It hurts me when I can't.
I do my best to love everyone, even the people who may scare or intimidate me. It has been difficult, as I have forced myself very far out of my comfort zone to show some kindness to these people.
Sometimes I try to put myself out into the world. To see what I can do to help people in their everyday lives. I try to take a step back and look at the people around me.
So many people who also do their best to look past their problems and go about their days as if they were and are just fine. Yet sometimes I look at people and I can just tell and know that they are hurting inside. I just want to help them, to offer some comfort, and a lot of the time these are complete strangers to me!
They try to push past their problems but need a friend, need someone to help, someone who could just smile at them. I have seen so many peoples' faces light up when I smile at them. I've seen how grateful they are and how you can read it on their faces that they appreciate that smile, or that compliment, even though they might not know you.
For a brief moment, you have changed their day. Even if you are having a bad day, if you smile at those people who look like they too are having a bad day, you can definitely see how it changes them, and doing so you can feel it change you.
I feel as though I may have overthought all of this, and I apologize for rambling on, but I just thought I should share my thoughts.
Plus, it got Ashley off my back about posting in the sister blog.
So there, Ashley.
Love you all, Me.
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